Finding Balance In Relationships
Consider relationships as two magnets trying to create balance. In this balance we create a dynamic where both people are free to feel safe, heal and grow. Creating the space needed to shed trauma's and beliefs that no longer serve us while simultaneously growing into the next version of ourselves. Creating space must be mutual due to the vast amount of love required to feel safe enough to heal. How do you create safe space for yourself and your spouse?
Communicating needs and Boundaries: The act of communicating helps you understand what your needs and boundaries actually are. Each act of communication gives your partner a chance to meet you half way.
Understanding and compassion: This space must be a judgement free zone. Remembering that you are both individuals trying to coexist. Shame in relationships causes distance and breaks trust.
Honesty and Trust: One can not exist without the other. Being honest and trusting your partner to hear you out fully. Trusting that abandonment will not be a result of your honesty and vice versa.
A great exercise to try: Discuss the following questions with your partner and take turns.
What do you think my top three needs are?
What are my triggers? (broken promises, withdrawal of affection, defensiveness, etc)
Are there boundaries you think I cross?
What can I do to make things easier?
Are there times where I feel emotionally distant? Have you noticed patterns?